7 Ways to Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return!!!
Written by Michele T on September 23, 2007 – 1:44 pm -By
Wow, this is a first for me! I’ve been tagged by Misti Sandefur , over at Life of a Writer, to write a post sharing 7 blogging tips on how to make your readers cringe and not want to come back.
Here Are 7 Ways to Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return:
1. Include links that go nowhere (am I the only person driven bonkers by this mistake?). After all, who wants to be reading and come across an interesting link, only to click and be taken to a cyber nowhere zone. “Error!” (And if I do this–SOWWY!)
2. Boast rudeness. Never follow fellow bloggers’ comments over to their own blogs. Never show courtesy by just leaving your little cyber stamp and saying hi and NEVER leave a few kind words relevant to their post (just to show you’re sweet and caring). Wouldn’t want to do that! After all, you’re making your readers cringe and not want to come back–Ever! (My traffic is increasing tremendously by visiting fellow bloggers’ blogs and leaving a kind comment).
3. Make your blog feel like a cold waiting room–no warm or cheerful colors, no pictures to admire. Just a non-friendly atmosphere.
4. Be B-O-R-I-N-G! Write blandly. Don’t act like yourself. Don’t let your colorful personality make a peep! In other words, act like a wilted leaf–limp and lifeless to all cyber neighbors!
5. Write like a child. Don’t use proper sentences. Forget about spelling and grammar, and don’t even try to capitalize or anything of the such. Just be lazy and sloppy and have an “I don’t care” attitude.
6. Make your readers have to “break in” to leave a comment. I’ll admit, I’m guilty. I did enable that little feature that makes you try a few times reading those fuzzy little letters before you can leave your comment. By then, your readers won’t care anymore and they’ll just leave frustrated. Don’t worry, they won’t be back to bother you anymore! (By the way, I disabled that comment feature).
7. Whew, I didn’t think I’d make it to 7 (smile). Be obnoxious. Just act like you are the greatest blogger, the best at everything. Don’t take time for comments or polishing your post into something interesting to show your readers you want them to have something awesome to read each time they come to visit you. Just abhor your readers’ very existence–that should do it! You’ll have zero readers, zero comments, and zero cyber neighbors. Oh yeah, that’s what you wanted!
So there, take these 7 Tips and Send Fellow Bloggers Speeding Off Down the Cyber Highway, Never to Return!
It’s been fun (thanks, Misti!), but now it’s your turn. I tag:
Amy Derby at Write-from-home.
Rebecca Laffar-Smith at The Writer’s Round-About.
Anyone else like to join in? Hop on board!
If I make horrid blogging mistakes, I’ll humbly take the criticism and try to improve 
Hopefully, these tips will help you think twice before you make blogging mistakes and allow you to successfully keep blogging the cyber highway!
Tags: Blogging
Posted in Blogging tips, Creativity and Fun | 11 Comments »
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
*chuckles* WOW! I GOT TAGGED!!! lol Not just in the challenge but in your labels. I have my name (and a few other specific keywords) set up on Google alerts so I know when people talk about me but I’m always surprised when it happens.
As I read I got a little worried you might have been listing me as a blogger that does these 7 things. Hopefully not, at least I try not to, let me know if I do because I certainly don’t want fellow bloggers getting pulled over for speeding (especially if it’s away from my blog
).
*ponders* Ok, so this tag challenge, I have to write a post sharing 7 tips on how to run off readers? It’s going to be challenging coming up with 7 more but I’ll try.
*goes off to work on her post*
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Oh no, Rebecca, the tag doesn’t mean that you’re someone that actually does these things! It’s just a little fun to share our “pet peeves”, I suppose and see how many different ways you could run off readers, ha ha! In a weird “not for real” cyber sorta way (make sense
???)
You’re hilarious! I love your comment
Yes, 7 ways to make readers not want to come back to your blog…
Good luck!
Smiles,
Michele
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:18 pm
*rubs tired eyes* Ok, it’s 1AM. That post took MUCH longer to write up then I had planned. Namely because I had issues trying to find a good resource for why you shouldn’t do some of my points.
In the end I gave up and it makes my blog look skinny in the middle and link heavy at the top and bottom. Oh well, it’s done and now I’m taking myself off to bed. lol
Thanks for the challenge, it was a lot of fun. Check out the result: http://laffarsmith.blogspot.com/2007/09/7-surefire-ways-to-commit-blog-suicide.html
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
Oh, Rebecca, I forgot about a time difference!
I’ll run right over and check out your tips.
Good night (smiles),
Michele
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Hi Michelle…
I LOVE your blog. Great post. I’m trying to reinvent myself as a writer after being hit by lightning and IT’S NOT EASY.
There are the Grammar Nazi’s, the Forum Trolls, the Unwelcome Weenies, and I think some old guy was hitting on me last week. Eeek!
I totally agree with your 7 Bloggy Blunders. Here’s my pet peeve. A blog that doesn’t even include the author’s name, moniker, or super-secret spy alias. “Biff! – Boom – Pow Batman!”
Can’t wait to read your next post!
blessings,
julia
julia ward – a BLINDING heart – a writer’s blog
http://www.ablindingheart.com
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Hi Julia,
Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you “LOVE” my blog (I try
ha ha!)
Whoa, you got hit by lightening? Hurray that you’re alive!
I’m glad you’re in agreement with my “7 Bloggy Blunders.”
I’ll be over to check out your blog soon!
Smiles,
Michele
[Reply]
September 23rd, 2007 at 5:33 pm
Ha – Michele, those were good tips! I’m going to go over later and check out the bloggers that you’ve tagged to see what they have to say.
[Reply]
September 24th, 2007 at 1:40 am
Oh, Julia! That’s a great one! I hate the lack of some form of identifier too. Blogs need that personal touch.
[Reply]
September 25th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Hi Michele,
I finally did mine.
After reading like 20 of these, I’m out of people to tag!! But they’ve been funny.
[Reply]
September 25th, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Hi there, Amy. I went to your blog and read your list of tips–they are H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!
Thanks for joining in the FUN
Smiles,
Michele
[Reply]
July 20th, 2008 at 1:31 am
[...] this unscheduled interruption to my regular blogcasting schedule but I’m not one to refuse a challenge. (Thank you Michele for the fabulous linkage.) I’ll return to the regular schedule with a [...]