The ‘R Word’
Written by Michele T on October 11, 2007 – 6:30 pm -By
Photo Credit: albertawoodrow
It brings so many different feelings to the table, yet so many people insist on being “the R word”.
For example, here’s a list of a few emotions that result when in the midst of “the R word:”
- Frustration
- Hurt feelings
- Anger
- Rage
- Hard feelings
- Stress
- Headaches
- Miscommunication
- Resentment
- Lost friendship(s)
- Lost freelance writing opportunities
- Editors that have no desire to work with you
- A bad reputation
Ok, I know you’re dying to know what “the R word” is…. It … is… (drum roll)….
RUDE
I trotted across the cyber highway to the free dictionary, and here’s what “the R word” actually means:
- lacking in refinement or grace
- lacking civility or good manners
Which reminded me of an article Amy Derby had published in Writing for Dollars newsletter a while back–Manners Matter for Freelance Writers. In this article, Amy shares her feelings and opinions and even reactions to how she handles RUDE freelance writer’s submissions. It’s amazing the audacity writers have had in their first emails to her!
Please tell me you would never approach an editor with a haughty attitude, like you’re the best writer in the world that doesn’t have time to wait a few weeks (like the rest of us) for a reply from a busy editor.
It just seems everywhere we look, listen, or turn these days, rudeness is overwhelming. From road rage, to men knocking women silly as they shove past them in their attempt to barge through the door first, its like chivalry is forever lost. Where are the courteous gentlemen anyways?
Honestly, I was clueless as to what I was going to write about for Writing the Cyber Highway readers. A friend of mine actually inspired this post. I shared my “blank page frustrations” with her today via email. I also shared a few other things, especially about an event that happened yesterday where the person just showed NO common courtesy, whatsoever.
In her reply, my friend spilled the beans about a few of her experiences with rude customers. She runs a family business, and often receives phone calls getting all the blame for things the customers themselves have failed to do or take note of. She suggested I discuss rude things that have happened to me, things I’d never myself do–like making someone wait all day and never showing up!
Blogger/writer friends, I do hope you don’t present yourself (online or off) in a rude manner. What does it accomplish? There are writers that have missed the awesome opportunity to work with Amy Derby simply because they forgot their manners, for whatever reason.
Friendships are ruined, feelings are hurt, and bad first impressions (which can never be recreated) are etched in stone. I just personally think that “the R word” should never raise its ugly head, especially when approaching an editor, or anyone, for the first time.
Even after you’ve known someone for a long while, you don’t have to be rude. EVEN if they are rude to us–EVEN if they mistreat us, we don’t have to “stoop” to that level and join them, right?
I truly believe with all my heart one of the biggest reasons I’m finding more and more writing success, is the fact that I’m nice. I’ve even had editors reply in an e-mail that I’m the nicest person they’ve “talked to” all day!
Kindness, courtesy, respect, genuine concern, sweetness, and patience goes a long way, you all. I think employers, editors, publishers, and mankind in general, are starving for a wholesome, considerate person to pass through their day.
Make a great first impression, and you may just hang around to become a full-time writer! Stand tall, smile, dig deep, and find the goodness that surely lays within each of our hearts–and run from “the R word” as you write the cyber highway (with extra kindness and a smile!)….
Tags: advice, Inspiration, manners, Writing Thoughts
Posted in Creativity and Fun, Writing Thoughts, Writing Wisdom | 10 Comments »
October 12th, 2007 at 12:31 am
Oh, Michele, this is a great entry about the R word. You are one of the nicest people I have ever had the privilidge of knowing. You go out of your way to be nice. I try to be nice most of the time as well, although on rare occassions I can be a bit crochetti. (is that a good word?)But treating others, as one wishes to be treated, is a good motto to follow. And perhaps treating the rude person with an extra dose of kindness might accomplish a positive change?
Great advice, Michele. Loved tonights entry.
Renie
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October 12th, 2007 at 1:28 am
Hi Renie,
What a pleasant surprise to find your extremely kind comment here!
I do try to be nice. My grandparents and parents always taught me “the Golden Rule–Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you.” I don’t think it’s so hard. Be kind and kindness will come in return. And, those times that you don’t receive kindness, be kind anyway. That’s how I live my life.
As you said, “Perhaps treating the rude person with an extra dose of kindness might accomplish a positive change!”
Smiles,
Michele
P.S. I think crochetti is a fine word ;0)
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October 12th, 2007 at 2:31 am
Michele,
Awesome entry. Why would anyone want to even read a rude and aggressive person’s writing? I certainly wouldn’t. I would probably click “delete” quicker that the person could blink an eye. Not because I’m rude, but because I have no patience for others who act that way.
We can all have an off day, but it’s best to remember that what goes ’round comes ’round. There are a lot of rude people out there and it makes you wonder.
Loved your message. Keep up the good work.
Mary
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October 12th, 2007 at 2:53 am
Thank you, Mary, for stopping by and leaving such a thoughtful comment.
I know, I can’t imagine what a writer, or anyone for that matter, would be thinking to hit send on a rude email.
I understand that you’d click delete. I’ve done the same thing myself. I’ve received some very rude and upsetting emails. I don’t know why… I have honestly had people email me and “bless me out” because they were upset at someone I knew! How crazy is that?
This is true. Everyone can have an “off day.” I mean, if someone we love passes away suddenly, or we’ve received devastating news of some kind, we might not be as “chipper” as usual, and I think that’s more than understandable.
I’m glad you liked my post, Mary, and look forward to you stopping back by soon ;0)
Smiles,
Michele
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October 12th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
Hi Michele,
I honestly had no idea how rude people could be until I started write-from-home.com. Even as a paralegal working for and with a lot of very rude and ignorant people, I never encountered the rudeness I receive from freelance writers.
In general, I tend to think most of us could all be a little nicer. As Renie said about herself, I too try to be as nice as I can. I don’t know if chrochetti is a word, but I will have to look that up!
As far as treating rude people with kindness, I do believe it’s a good motto, but there are times when I run out of the energy to practice that one. Sometimes hitting “delete” is much easier.
[Reply]
October 12th, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Hi Amy,
I feel for you, girl! I don’t know how you keep such a sweet attitude with all you have to put up with. It shows you have real character and a LOT of patience
I would have never considered sending you a rude email. I just can’t understand what freelance writers (or any rude people) are thinking.
You and Renie are very nice. I’m sure there are days that I could even be nicer, and extend myself yet even more.
I don’t know if chrochetti is a word either, and I forgot to look it up! But I like it, even if it isn’t a “real word” ha ha!
I agree, though, Amy. Sometimes it’s easier and less exhausting to just hit delete. I’ve done it myself, because sometimes there’s just nothing more we could say.
Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you visit again soon!
Smiles,
Michele
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October 12th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
GREAT post Michele! I think we should have a “Manners Monday!”
If for just one day we would take a few seconds to think before we speak, act more kindly, and be just a little more thoughtful – maybe we’d all have a much better week.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. You’re right – I’m a little over the edge right now with trying to move. But – my Muse was sighted impersonating Elvis at the Holiday Inn! There’s hope!
blessings,
julia
julia ward – a BLINDING heart – a writer’s blog
http://www.ablindingheart.com
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October 12th, 2007 at 8:42 pm
Well, thank you, Julia! I agree, we should have a “Manners Monday!”
Most times, when we’re down and out, it makes us feel better to just take our mind off things and laugh, or even be the first to smile as you pass someone on the street (hey, it makes them feel better, too, when they smile back!).
Your welcome for stopping by your blog. Oh, you’re not over the edge, Julia, just understandably stressed out with all that’s going on right now. Who wouldn’t be?
What’s this?
“- my Muse was sighted impersonating Elvis at the Holiday Inn!”
You should be a comedian! ha!
Smiles and best wishes ;0)
Michele
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October 21st, 2007 at 1:26 am
Hi Michele;
Your post is a great reminder to everyone of how we “should” act. Unfortunately, however, it almost seems like those concienscious about it are the ones who take the time to stop and give it some thought. The culprits don’t get that we’re talking to them…or don’t care.
Great post!!
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October 21st, 2007 at 1:35 am
Hi Grandy,
How nice of you to stop by!
Yes, it seems the culprits are clueless…
Glad you enjoyed your visit.
Smiles,
Michele
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