Don’t Let Your Past Keep You from Your Future
Written by Michele T on January 25, 2009 – 10:15 pm -By
Rebecca Laffar-Smith just shared her long road to writing with us. Since I read her story, I’ve been reflecting on my own. I’ve mentioned before I need to stop pulling the reins on myself so I can go to the next level in my freelance writing business. So, why do I feel I’m still holding myself back? Why do I feel I could have already acccomplished so much more? Am I just too hard on myself? Do I expect too much of myself? Or, am I truly – without even realizing it – allowing my past to keep me from stepping into a future I desire with all my heart? Am I locking myself out of my own future?
Just as Rebecca shared that she drifted to and away from her writing dreams, my own writing has drifted to and fro throughout the years. I’ve always been a writer – even if I was just jotting down what happened on any given day in my journal, or pouring my heart onto a loose piece of paper in the form of poetry. I’m a writer. It’s who I’ve been since I was a little girl; it’s who I’ll always be.
Maybe you’re feeling the same way I am. Maybe, just maybe, you even feel like I’ve written this very post just for you. And, you might be right. (I’m a firm believer that stuff always happens for a reason.) I’m inspired to write this post, to share my heart, my fears, my struggles with you because I want anyone who comes to read this blog to know they aren’t alone.
Some things I’ve struggled with as a freelance writer and blogger are:
- maintaining a lot of confidence
- selling my writing and blogging services
- overcoming my hermit tendencies
- finding the courage to approach the publications/people that intimidate me
- overwhelming myself with too many resolutions
You might find it odd that I feel this way - or that I’d spill the beans about it for a gazillion eyes to read. I have wondered why I feel this way as I contemplate my future with words. My conclusion? It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to move forward in life after escaping domestic violence. Bruises from the physical abuse fade in no time, but the bruises from the verbal abuse are etched deep in the heart, mind, and soul of the victim.
Off the topic of writing:
If you’re prone to saying things you don’t mean in the heat of the moment, find a way to change yourself. Your hurtful words can’t be erased. They’ll stick with that person forever. Think about that.
So, what am I doing to stop reflecting on the past so my writing can take me where I want to go?
Here’s a few things I’ve been doing:
- take risks like hitting send for a query to that high-paying market
- polishing my queries so they portray me in a positive light
- trying to find ways to come out of my hermit shell
- focusing on short-term goals (you’ll notice I didn’t share a resolutions post this year)
- unlocking the door to my destiny
I’m not sure where this writing road will take me. What I do know is that the journey will only be all it was meant to be if I’m forging ahead in confidence, and not glancing over my shoulder allowing my past to direct my footsteps…
At the end of Rebecca’s guest post, she asked us what our long road to writing was. Today I’d love to know where your writing road is going to take you. Will you travel it with your eyes on the future? Have you already been doing that? Or, like me, have you struggled with your past tugging at you all along the way? Share your writing journey in the comments!
Be sure to subscribe to Writing the Cyber Highway’s Feed or by email, so you won’t miss upcoming posts and updates. Look for news from my own writing life, as well as interviews with amazing and inspiring folks. I’ll even be sharing the links to my mom’s new website and blog!
Photo Credit:http://www.sxc.hu
Tags: confidence, future, high-paying markets, Inspiration, past, Writing, writing dreams, writing goals, Writing Thoughts
Posted in Guest Bloggers, Inspiration, Michele's Life, Writers' Health, Writing Thoughts, Writing Wisdom | 20 Comments »
January 26th, 2009 at 12:17 am
I’m always finding inspired and heartfelt posts here, Michele. I know that you are working very hard and it shows.
Just keep on keepin’ on, I know there are good things in store for you.
Cheers!
George
Tumblemooses last blog post..The tumblemoose community is the best
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January 26th, 2009 at 12:44 am
Thanks, George! I truly appreciate the kind words and positive feedback!
Oh, I’m not going to give up – just reflecting on my journey.
*smiles*
Michele
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January 26th, 2009 at 4:16 am
It seems we are all influenced by our past but it is important to empower our future with the past instead of allowing it to hinder us.
I had a look over your ‘resolutions’ for 2008 and have to wonder, “Why aren’t you prouder?” You did manage to accomplish a great deal that you listed. You had some significant leaps forward in 2008 that you must remember to congratulate yourself for. Celebrate your achievements instead of reflecting on those unchecked points of your to-do list.
Still, it’s easier said than done. *grins* I know that too. The good news is, we walk the path together, as friends. It’s good to know I’m not alone in my journey.
All the best for yours, Michele. I hope 2009 brings you closer than ever to your dreams.
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January 26th, 2009 at 5:01 am
no do not lest the past ruler your life,but do take the lessons learned and not forget the past,for you may end up repeating it.
mike golchs last blog post..Yeah it’s like that.
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January 26th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Even those of us who have “made” it down that road struggle, Michele. It takes one person’s anger, upset, or indifference to make us doubt ourselves sometimes.
You have to start thinking about the career as a business, not as a personal journey. The minute you look at it from that perspective, you’ll be able to make hard decisions and push yourself toward those goals.
Loris last blog post..The Great (or not-so-boring-and-somewhat-interesting) Social Networking Experiment
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January 26th, 2009 at 5:39 pm
I think it’s always hard to take risks – and also figure out ourselves and what it is that we’re afraid of!
goofy girls last blog post..Friday!
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January 26th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
My long road to writing would take up a whole blog post, maybe even an entire book – but I would like to share one of my own struggles with freelance writing: marketing. Even though I *get* marketing and I can easily see marketing opportunities for others, it’s a constant challenge in maintaining my own business. I am getting better over time but it seems like mastering marketing is taking forever!
Melissa Donovans last blog post..Why Proofreading Matters
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January 26th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Of course the advice you have here is spot on. It’s good to have a reminder sometimes.
You’re right in pointing out that you’re not sure where this road is heading. It’s not about destination, it’s about journey
George
Tumblemooses last blog post..The long and the short of it
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January 27th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
What a beautiful and honest post and a joy to read. I did feel like your post was written for me and I can definitely relate to always having been a writer even if it was just writing poetry. Our writing journey takes us all in different directions, while one my write and publish a novel, another may climb the ladder of success in copywriting. No matter what though, the heart of a writer will always want to write. Follow your heart when writing and it will never steer you wrong. Many thanks for sharing.
Amanda
Amanda Evans Ghostwriters last blog post..Save The Planet With Green Web Hosting
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January 27th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
What a great & inspiring post, Michele.
My past has held me down for too long. For years, I wanted to write, but didn’t. Teachers, friends, and employers told me that I had talent, and should be writing.
When I was 16 years old, I made the mistake of telling my abusive father that I was going to be a writer when I grew up. He told me that I’d never be successful at it. “Writing is a tough business go get in,’ he told me, “and you won’t be able to support yourself.” Despite people negating what he said for years after that, the fact is bad things are often easier to believe.
I believed him and spent my life avoiding writing because I was afraid of failure (and afraid of success!).
I’m nearly 40 years old now. I’ve been writing for a living for nearly 2 years.
Where will my writing road take me? It’s taking me where it was supposed to take me, before I took a detour of not believing in myself, nearly 24 years ago.
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:07 am
Every time I start to think I’m on the right road, something sneaks in to cause me to doubt my abilities. It’s a windy road, but I’m getting stronger.
Grandys last blog post..How did you find me?
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January 28th, 2009 at 6:31 am
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January 28th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Fantastic post, Michele. I can relate sooooooo much to this. In fact, it was almost as if I were reading something I’d written about myself. I think probably a lot of us writers experience this, but many don’t know how to deal with it.
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January 29th, 2009 at 12:21 am
I’ve always felt like I should be accomplishing more than I am. I look back and wonder ‘why didn’t I start a book 10 years ago’, or ‘why did I waste so much time working in the corporate world?’
Two days ago I read a spin on the old quote “Live today as if it were your last day” It was: “Live the day as if it were your first” Give yourself the gift of a clean slate. Easier said than done, but an awesome thing to keep in mind, especially when those thoughts pop up!
Colleens last blog post..The Best ‘Market Research’ Advice I’ve Ever Gotten
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January 31st, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Michele,
Your blog is wonderful, and I need to come visit more often.
It is so good to take stock of where we are in our lives, as writers and in general, and this thought-provoking piece is a good starting point for letting the thoughts flow.
~Maria
Maria — WriterGigs last blog post..Bukisa Payout Reached
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January 31st, 2009 at 10:49 pm
Thanks for stopping by at Double M today. On your topic today, it is hard to get sidetracked on writing goals. For one thing, it seems to take so long to get the essentials accomplished. Then there’s blogging. It’s addictive, fun, good networking, but takes time from my writing.
MorganMandel
http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
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January 31st, 2009 at 10:50 pm
Meant to say easy to get sidetracked. I’m too fast with the clicker.
Morgan Mandel
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February 3rd, 2009 at 5:53 pm
I definitely keep my eye on the future, but I’m also aware of the delicious tangents along the way. When I stopped in the projected path to grab an opportunity I didn’t expect, I’ve wound up happier and more fulfilled, financially and creatively.
I think it’s important that your goals/dreams/resolutions cause you to stretch. There’s a really disturbing trend going on where people lower the bar for themselves to feel “good”. It’s my firm belief (based on my experience and what I observe around me) that you really can’t trick yourself that way. You KNOW, deep down, that you’re not working up to potential, and you might get a five second rush, but you don’t have the deep feeling of satisfaction that builds your confidence when you’ve pushed yourself and THEN reached the goal.
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February 6th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I’ve been thinking about this topic today… I’ve been pondering the need for writers to be able to “brag” to get an assignment. It took me some getting used to and I notice that a lot of writers have the same problem. As soon as I acquired that skill and knew what to say to get a job, things got a lot easier for me.
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February 13th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Hey,
Glad to make your acquaintence…Before we convince anyone else we’re writers, ultimately we’ve got to convince ourselves…keep writing:)
Clara.
Clara Freemans last blog post..TGIF!
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